My first STD was from a foam party
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
