return my video game
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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