I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
