shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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