I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
