I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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