i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
