i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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