I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
