alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
