she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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