Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
did you just send me my own nude
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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