I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
