Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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