dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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