Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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