32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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