The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
