I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He did a backflip because drugs
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
