I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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