he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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