Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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