Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
