Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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