Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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