Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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