hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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