How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
