One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
