But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
