So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
