Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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