I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
