i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
