but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
