Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
