Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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