Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
