I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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