I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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