So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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