Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
