chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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