sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
