I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You were trust falling into bushes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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