Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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