Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
