forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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