I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
