writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
